I've been the mom of a newborn for almost three weeks.
As I write this, my girl is stretched out in my arms sleeping. The second I put her down, she will wake up. That means I'll sit here and be still while watching Hulu and messing around on my phone. It doesn't matter that I need to fold laundry and take a shower and vacuum. It doesn't matter that I might be spoiling her.
Because this "Mom" thing is ridiculously difficult, and I'm enjoying this moment's quiet.
You know all my pregnancy posts? I used to spend sooo much time researching pregnancy, trying to find out every detail about my baby's development.
Somehow I NEVER researched the postpartum period beyond labor and delivery. For some crazy reason, I didn't prepare for the fact I wouldn't sleep from the moment my girl shared my room in the hospital.
Why didn't I know newborns must eat every 2-3 hours?? Day AND night.
Ha! Maybe God protected me from that info because He knew I'd freak.
So, today I'm thinking about accepting the NEW.
The new way to sleep (or not sleep) 30 minutes at a time. The new way to shower with the baby in the bathroom (how else can I be sure she's okay?). The new way to hop out of bed like a maniac if she coughs--because it sounded like choking.
I've got to tell you, I have boatloads of respect for moms now. Before, I just didn't get it. How incredibly tough it is on your mind and your body to take care of a completely helpless baby who literally needs you every second of every day.
Especially if you're nursing. Goodness, I decide every other night that I'm switching to formula. Haha! (I'm still holding off so far.)
I saw a picture today that said if God wants you to grow, He makes you uncomfortable.
And I'm holding onto that.
All this difficulty, all the exhaustion and worry--it's simply a part of raising a kid. At some point, this period will fade into a new one that allows for sleep But probably includes some other uncomfortable task.
The Lord is with us during those late nights. He's there, and He knows what we're thinking/feeling.
This stage will pass (or so I've been told).
Plus, there are some good things about these late nights:
1) The Kindle app! I can use that time to read!
2) Extra time with my girl! We're pretty well bonded at this point.
3) Exercise. I mean, I have to be getting at least SOME exercise moving around at night.
This is our new life for now. But one day, Lord willing, we WILL sleep again. Hallelujah!