Thursday, February 19, 2015

When God Flips Your Heart


 
In less than a year, some of the dreams threaded through me have come true. I've mentally check-marked each soul-stilling moment as it happened.
 
 Last August brought me an agent to team with, to make this publishing thing a real possibility.
December brought me a ring from the guy who has long been my closest earthly friend.
This month, I've finished the rough draft of my second novel and been introduced to the house where my soon-to-be husband and I will begin together.
 
God has been breathtakingly sweet to me.
 
Yet I've caught myself in the throes of discontent.
 
Why hasn't a publishing contract come? Why is planning a wedding so overwhelming? What if I stink as a wife?

 I'm a worrier. As much as change excites me, it also scares the fire out of me. Because how can I know I can handle something I've never done before? How can I know I'm not wasting time writing books that won't be read? How do I do what I've never done before?

The answer is pretty simple.

I can't.

Forget what that little train engine said--thinking you can do something doesn't mean you can do it.
But not thinking you can do something doesn't mean you can't.

If you have a relationship with the Lord, the One who created you and saw your life before you ever started living, you have all you need to defeat worry and find contentment.
You may not be able to do something--but He can.
You may not know if you will ever reach that next goal--but He does.
You may not be sure you can handle a new role--but He knows.
 
 Every step along the path, every slip, every splinter, every smile is His way of growing you up.

"...speaking the truth in love, may grow you up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ." Ephesians 4:15

"...we...do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;" Colossians 1:9


The story I'm revising now features a stubborn, fiery, quick-witted woman who hasn't yet figured out she needs a heart remodel. Sure, she knows the Lord, but she's slacked off in her spiritual life, too overburdened by newly-awakened bitterness to realize her faults.

She might have a teeny-tiny bit of yours truly in her. Because what kind of writer would I be if I didn't flesh out my characters with unbridled emotion?

Like those creaky old houses on HGTV, sometimes we all could use a good ole' flip. Tear out the musty carpet. Wipe off the grimy walls. Rip out the rotting cabinets.

Let God refresh you and clean your heart so there's room for Him to fellowship with you.

It's an ongoing journey, one that isn't always peaceful and smooth. But little by little, He's working on you, biding His time until you're ready for showing.

One of my dearest, most often repeated prayers is to be who He wants me to be.
For that to happen, He might have to flip my heart. More than once.

Still, it'll be worth trusting Him in the end.
 
 
  

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I tend to have to repeat it over and over and over... ;)
      Stubbornness is a trait I know well.

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  2. Love this analogy! The Lord is so patient with me.

    I'm so excited about your new story! Praying you get that contract soon!

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    Replies
    1. Amen to His patience.

      I'm excited about yours as well. I mean, just that prologue...goodness! :)

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